Partnership Wanted!

 

Do you work with people in recovery from addictions, anxiety, codependency, depression or other disorder? Would you like to offer them a simple, low cost, very effective program as an additional tool in their recovery? If you want to offer your clients a spiritual healing element, as well as on a mental and physical level, I would like to discuss ways we can work together.

3 Steps To Spiritual Healing Class

The 3 Steps To Spiritual Healing program has helped people around the world to overcome addiction, anxiety, and many other disorders stemming from spiritual dis-ease, which accurately describes these conditions.

Psychology analyzes past issues associated with the mind. Counseling sessions often last for years and the majority of the time is spent reviewing the patient’s past, rather than the present and future.

The medical profession deals primarily with the body, prescribing medication to treat the symptoms of past issues, such as anxiety and depression. While prescription medication can temporarily numb emotional pain, medication is designed to treat the symptoms of the problem, not the source.

While both physical and psychological treatment play key roles in recovery, the spiritual healing approach is equally important. 3 Steps To Spiritual Healing focuses on teaching how to heal one’s spirit/soul in the belief that the most effective recovery requires a mind, body and spirit approach. This is not a religious program, but uses a spiritual approach to healing from within.

Sessions are done one-on-one from the comfort and privacy of one's own home, using Skype or telephone. The cost is just $90 for two sessions, each session lasting approximately 2 hours. There is no more affordable, simple and convenient approach to overcoming addiction, depression, or other disorder than 3 Steps To Spiritual Healing. 

To learn more, please email Dan@3stepstorecovery.com 

Guns, Murder, and Spiritual Dis-ease

By Dan Farish

If there’s one tiny spark of hope to come from December's mass murder in Connecticut, it is this – we, as a nation, are forced to ask ourselves some tough questions. What would cause someone to walk into a school and murder twenty innocent babies? Why are mass murders a growing trend in our society? While psychiatrists search for personality disorders to explain the (alleged) senselessness, scientists scan DNA for clues, and politicians consider new legislation designed to regulate the problem, here is the ugly truth; we live in a spiritually sick, disconnected, fragmented society where people place far more faith in their guns than they do in one another. This most recent shooting is not an isolated situation, as we all know.

Mass murders are on the rise. Since 1982, there have been at least 62 mass murder incidents carried out with firearms across the country, leaving hundreds dead. But this article isn’t about the pros and cons of gun control, nor is it a mental health debate. This article offers a spiritual perspective as to why people are so lost and offers just one of many explanations as to why mass murder is increasing on a national scale.

Why do so many Americans feel the need to own a handgun? Fear.

What removes fear? Spiritual healing. Faith and love replace fear.

We are a country in desperate need of spiritual healing. I’m not talking about religion. In fact, some of the most dangerous people I can imagine are the religious fanatics that wave a pistol in one hand and a bible in the other. Fear is the reason people feel compelled to arm themselves in their own homes and, with 310 million privately owned firearms in America, we’re talking about a lot of fear. Enormous truck loads of the stuff.

Fear, along with anxiety, depression, addiction, and too many other behavioral conditions to mention here, is merely a symptom of spiritual dis-ease. It is a disconnection from our spiritual side, both individually and collectively. We are a spiritually dis-eased, spiritually bankrupt country. If you don’t believe it, take a look at our elected leaders. The vast majority of politicians care far more about their own self-centered, selfish interests than yours or mine.

What, exactly, is spiritual dis-ease?

The hyphen is important here. Spiritual dis-ease describes a sense of unease (such as fear) within us, a feeling of separateness from others, and even a separation from one’s inner self. It is an uneasiness of the soul – a soul wounded by emotional, physical or sexual abuse, neglect, absentee parents, or other trauma. In its simplest form, spiritual dis-ease boils down to one thing; a blockage of love to us and from us. We avoid our neighbors, curse other drivers, and replace front porches with rear decks to hide from the world.

When we become spiritually disconnected, we turn our back on a very real energy called love. We are wired for love and when we cut ourselves off from love, anything can happen and none of it is good. People turn to pornography, drugs, alcohol, or become workaholics, sleepaholics and shopaholics. Anti-social behavior becomes socially acceptable. Some people even throw both arms in the air, give up altogether, and turn to suicide or murder.

Psychiatrists and mental health professionals use acronyms like ADHD, PTSD, and countless other “disorders” to put a label on the symptoms of spiritual dis-ease. They hand out prescription pills like candy to treat those symptoms. Of course, pills only treat the symptoms and do nothing to address the source of the problem, which is, of course, spiritual dis-ease. There is no chemical remedy for a spiritual dis-ease. Between 2001 and 2010, the number of people swallowing medication for mental health or behavioral disorders increased by 22%. This does not mean 22% more people found themselves teetering on the edge of insanity over the course of nine years. It is, however, a pretty good indication that more people felt the need to fill a quiet, desperate void in their soul. Again, pills treat the symptoms of the problem, not the source. They temporarily numb the emotional pain. We feel nothing, as a result. No pain, no joy, no empathy for others, no real emotions at all.

What is the solution?

Aware of it or not, we are all made of three basic elements; body, mind, and spirit/soul. When one of the three is out of balance, the other two suffer. Guess which of the three is, by far, the most out of kilter in today’s America? The solution is simple. We need to apply faith and love in daily life, rather than place misguided faith in a god called 44 Magnum.

Here are a few steps we can make to move from a fearful, empty, spiritual dis-eased existence to a faithful, fulfilling, contented life.

•    Living in the present moment is one way to overcome fear. Stop what you’re doing, focus on the present, and ask yourself if everything is okay right now. If you’re fearful that someone is going to hurt you tomorrow, that is not only an unrealistic, unwarranted fear, it is also a faithless thought.
•    Apply small acts of kindness in all you do, knowing that your actions, whether positive or negative, have a ripple effect on all of us. Invite a neighbor over for coffee. Volunteer to help others that are struggling in your local community. Smile at the driver beside you at the next red light.
•    Understand that you are part of a very large picture called the universe. You are not a separate, unique, isolated individual struggling alone to survive in a hostile world. Unless, of course, you choose to live as one.
•    Believe in God/Higher Power/Great Spirit/ Divine Love or whatever name you choose to call it. Believe in a power greater than your own, of which you are a small, but important part. Put your faith into knowing that no matter what happens in life, all will be well, whether we wake up in this world tomorrow morning or the next one.

Faith and fear are opposing forces. All happiness results from a flow of love to you and from you to others. All spiritual dis-ease results from a blockage of love to you and from you to others. Lower your guard, lay down your weapons, and embrace life with your God-given arms. Life is that simple.

To learn more about spiritual healing, please visit http://3stepstospiritualhealing.blogspot.com/2012/10/calling-all-angels.html. Be sure to join our mailing list for blog updates, tons of spiritual news and info, delivered directly to your inbox.

A Spiritual Experience Described

 By Dan Farish

It must have been the fifteenth or sixteenth night when the miracle happened. My routine had been the same that night as all the others. I laid in bed reciting the 3 Steps, as I'd done for the previous fortnight, asking humbly and sincerely, without fail. This ritual was repeated dozens of times each night with a few short breaks in between. During those breaks, I’d talk to my Higher Power in a more casual way, describing how my addiction felt like a dark cloud, confiding my fears, and asking for help in overcoming both. I'd been told sincerity counted. I was more than sincere. I was desperate for help.

This one-sided conversation had gone on for two weeks straight and I was starting to wonder if it was a waste of time. Somewhat frustrated, I started to ask myself if God was even listening. I never got the chance to finish the question. Out of the blue something jolted me, causing my entire body to tighten up. My muscles clenched and released, repeatedly and uncontrollably, as if some invisible giant was grabbing me by the belt, lifting ninety percent of my body off the bed and slamming me back down. My chest constricted and my legs froze, thrusting my chest upwards and releasing me again, which must have resembled a seizure. The movements knocked the breath out of me, which was frightening at first. 

But fear was replaced with an energy I’d never felt before. Soothing waves of incredibly powerful warmth and love pulsed through my body, dissolving the anxiety and tension I’d carried for so many years. It felt as if God had walked into the room, laid both hands on me, and penetrated my body and soul with some kind of divine electricity. I laid back and went along for the ride, alternately feeling like I’d been plugged into an electrical outlet and caressed by a warm, loving energy like no other. I can only describe the feeling as having been ZAPPED with the most amazing energy on earth and for which there are no words. It felt like love multiplied by infinity. The experience lasted for somewhere between 15-20 minutes. When it ended, I felt both exhilarated and exhausted. Within minutes, exhaustion won out and I fell into a deep sleep. When I awoke the next morning my addiction was gone. The intense cravings that had driven me to drink for more than twenty years had vanished and haven’t returned even once in nearly two decades.

I’m not quite sure what happened that night, but one thing is certain. A miracle took place. No doubt exists in my mind that a Higher Power not only heard my plea for help, but reached out and healed my soul. Love walked in, grabbed my addiction by the scruff of its dirty neck, and marched it out the door. The inner turmoil and tension that had haunted me for most of my life evaporated in an instant and were replaced by a quiet calmness and inner peace that remain to this day. I know it’s difficult to believe in miracles unless you’ve experienced one of your own. Unfortunately, the only way to describe the experience is by telling it exactly as it happened. It is as it is. Whether or not anyone else believes a spiritual healing actually occurred is their own choice. The fact that the word miracle exists certainly suggests that inexplicable events have occurred throughout history. Some might choose to view my experience as self-hypnosis, or even temporary insanity, spurred by desperation. To me, it really doesn’t matter. The bottom line is that it worked. My addiction was instantly and permanently erased, which was a true miracle, regardless how it came to be.

But you don’t need to be an alcoholic or drug addict to benefit from a spiritual healing experience. People struggling with depression, anxiety, loneliness, PTSD and a long list of other disorders can be healed using a spiritual approach. An open mind, an open heart, and willingness play key roles in a spiritual experience. If you'd like to learn how to connect with your own spiritual healing, click here.

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Has Your Spiritual Well Run Dangerously Low? 6 Ways You Can Restore The Flow

Love is the only water that can quench the heart's thirst.

- David Kam

Love is like an endlessly filling well. It must flow constantly, as that is its nature. Cancel its destination and the soul begins to die of thirst.

- spirit communication from the book, Lighten Up   

A lot of people ponder the meaning of life. Why are we here? What is the purpose of living? These are questions that man has asked himself throughout the ages. The answer, of course, boils down to one word – love. We are here to love one another. We were born to apply love in all we do, whether it’s soaking up the sun on a beach in Aruba, preparing a meal for friends and family, or scrubbing a floor on our hands and knees.

Love is similar to water in the sense that its very nature is to flow everywhere it can flow, both to us, and from us to others. To block the flow of love through our own selfish actions creates illness and bad effect for all. If a person hides away from love, it becomes easier for him or her to act in a loveless way. This, in turn, affects society as a whole, opening the door to things like anti-social and criminal behavior. A chain reaction results, affecting everyone this person meets, which affects everyone they meet and so on. The greater a person starves his soul through withholding love for others, and only taking from it, the more he becomes a wounding part of the world as a whole.

The reverse also holds true. When we open our hearts and souls to others, we unlock the dam gates and allow love to flow – again, both to us and from us to others. Look at the furniture in your rooms, the foods you eat, the things we take for granted. Consider that they were once someone’s idea and someone worked hard using the love within them to make them a reality for everyone to enjoy. Stop and think how the water of love affects every little thing you see, smell, taste and feel.

The crop you plant out of love inspires others to plant their own seeds. Love provides work for others, food on tables, and goods in shops to be happily bought and enjoyed by many. It is an example that everything in life is a product of giving. The reason man began saying grace before meals was to give awareness and appreciation to the love that nourishes souls. Once people start using loving awareness toward all things, life becomes richer and more fulfilling. Life then flows liquidly, just as love itself flows.

Here are 6 life-changing steps you can apply starting today –

1. Think. Think from your heart, as well as your head. Think about the nature of love and how easily it is to turn the tap on simply by choosing it. This is not advanced calculus – every child intuitively thinks from the heart without a second thought. Lay down on the bed in your spare bedroom or go for a long, quiet walk in nature and think about love as a simple concept that you can easily share with others every day.
2. Faith. You needn’t be religious or even spiritual to apply faith in your life. Your faith can be as simple as believing that giving and receiving love is the true purpose of life. Understand that your smile, the light that shines from within you, touches everyone you meet. Not every person you meet is going to like you for it or appreciate your offer of kindness. But, they become part of a chain reaction, whether they are aware of it or not. You might not even like the person very much, but that is not the point. Love flows to love, period.  Faith allows you to accept that life is about giving and receiving love from others – both living in the world and outside of it. That is, after all, what you were designed to do in the first place. Simply that.
3. Acceptance. If I was asked to define acceptance using 10 words or less, it would be “it is what it is and that’s okay”. Faith and acceptance combine to form a strength and resilience that will see us through anything life throws our way. A lack of acceptance in dealing with life’s challenges is akin to an ant demanding that the elephant do things his way and see things from his point of view. The ant stands no chance of making the elephant submit to his expectations, no more than you or I shaking our fist at the universe will change anything – it is what it is. Faith offers a depth of acceptance that allows love to flow during both pleasant and horrible times alike. By applying faith, you create more of it. In creating more, your life becomes richer because you are at one with yourself and one with your world.
4. Practice. Practice makes perfect, which is why you need to review step one before applying this one. Learn to imagine love as an energy that flows from your heart and soul in all your daily affairs. Random acts of kindness was a pretty random expression once, but the expression has been used far more often than the act itself over the years, which is why we need to practice. What can you do to practice? Read the next step.
5. Baby Steps. You needn’t strap a crucifix to your back or find a cure for cancer in order to change the world. The love that flows from you to others starts with each of us in the smallest of ways. Smile at everyone you meet every Thursday, allow three drivers to merge ahead of you on Tuesday, and roll around on the carpet with your child and/or your dog on Saturday morning. Invite a neighbor over for coffee or volunteer to bake brownies for the next community fundraiser. If enough of us do it, we will cause a ripple effect that will – not might – change our world.
6. Lighten Up. So many of us view life as a struggle that must, somehow, be dealt with each and every day. We think we must work harder to acquire more money to buy more possessions, which will somehow make us happier someday in the future. The key to happiness is appreciation for the air we breathe, the roof above our heads, and sharing our heart with others. Quit focusing on the “problems” that won’t mean diddly squat when you’re breathing your last breath of air. Laugh often, let the small stuff slide, and have a good time sharing the love within you with friends, family, and strangers alike. It’s why you’re here.

And now a word from someone who needs to read this article. These song lyrics represent a man who believes his water of love has run dry and he can't find it anywhere... he doesn't yet realize that his ego is his own little dam and if he'd just open the floodgates of his soul, the water would flow through and fill him with love.  

Are you or a loved one struggling with depression, anxiety, addiction or other issues? You can call me at 360 914 2895 anytime or email Dan@3stepstorecovery.com. Be sure to sign up for your 3 Steps To Spiritual Healing newsletter and receive free tips, helpful articles and special offers.

6 Ways To Your Own Spiritual Experience

Have you ever imagined what an intense spiritual experience would be like? In what ways would a spiritual awakening change your life? If you’re like most of us, you’ve spent more time learning how to grill a hot dog than you have exploring these questions. A bit ironic, really, considering we are all made of mind, body and spirit. Spirituality is all about discovering where we came from, where we will return when our bodies die, and the purpose of life in this world. Yet, few of us will feel the amazing power of a life-changing spiritual experience in this lifetime. You’re not to blame, though. Public schools have never offered classes on the subject, or even offered any indication that spirit exists, and it wasn’t exactly dinner conversation while growing up, at least in my family. Still, there is that fleeting, nagging voice most of us hear in our minds (or in our hearts) assuring us that there somehow must be more to life than meets the eye.

The good news is there is more to life – lots more. Here are a few life-changing benefits that result from a spiritual awakening.

• A new sense of calm and peace within you
• Absence of fear. Fear is one of the first things to go with a spiritual awakening
• You feel content with your own company. You are not lonely, even when you are alone
• Lack of desire to judge others
• A sense of feeling connected with others
• Words like faith, tolerance, and acceptance begin to take on new meaning
• Painful memories of the past become distant memories and have no effect on your happiness
• We no longer feel the need to convince others that our views are “right” and theirs are “wrong”
• A desire to give to others without expecting anything in return. You feel blessed and wish to share the blessing you’ve received with others
• You become grateful for the things you have, rather than obsessing about the things you don’t

The single biggest benefit many people report is an overall sense that “all is well with the world”, which is the exact opposite of the fear-based view of life as a struggle that must be “dealt with” on a daily basis. Years of fear become permanently replaced with a quiet faith, a new inner-strength and calm.

What Is A Spiritual Awakening?

A spiritual experience is difficult to describe to those that have not yet experienced one of their own. For some, it is an overwhelming feeling of intense energy and calmness at the same time. Waves of warmth and pure love flow through one’s entire body. Once the experience ends, some report feeling both exhilarated and exhausted at the same time. There are no words to fully describe the feeling, but you will know it when you feel one and you will never forget it. You have temporarily become one with all the light and love in the universe. For others, the experience is more gradual and less intense. The result is the same, however. We have opened ourselves to Divine Love and our awakening has begun.

Six Basic Elements Of A Spiritual Experience

1. How bad do you want one? Lots of us imagine a spiritual experience as a mystical, magical adventure trip that takes place within us.  But few realize that making a spiritual connection with the powers-that-be isn’t something that just happens out of the blue. We must be willing to open our heart and bare our soul to a Higher Power than our own. We have to truly want to change our life and must be ready to set sail for unknown destinations completely foreign to all we’ve ever know. And we must do it alone. The truth is that most of us only become willing to change when the pain of living outweighs the pleasure for quite some time. In the case of addiction, for example, this time is called hitting bottom. But we all suffer from some form of spiritual dis-ease, both addicts and non-addicts alike, and we can all benefit immensely from a spiritual healing experience. How willing are you to do what it takes?
2. Do You Believe? Imagine two mountaintop villages. One village is called Fear. Across the great, deep gorge below is a place called Happiness. The bridge that connects them is called Faith. Whether you choose to imagine your own bridge as God/Higher Power/Great Spirit/Eye In The Sky or a very real energy called Divine Love, faith is a critical element of a spiritual experience. How can we become one with divine love (the true definition of a spiritual experience) if we refuse to believe it exists? Faith is the key that opens the door to your heart and allows love to enter.
3. Wave the white flag. If you’ve ticked off the two boxes above and you’re still with us, congratulations! There are a few more steps to discuss, but none more important than this one. Surrender is the third element of a spiritual experience. Surrendering to a Higher Power is not about throwing in the towel and giving up on our self. We don’t surrender our best qualities when we surrender – we are simply surrendering the negative emotions, trauma and pain that have been holding us back from true happiness for years. It’s really more of a merger than surrender. We are actually joining forces with a Higher Power’s energy. We are using the willingness and faith discussed earlier to let down our guard and open ourselves to a spiritual healing experience.
4. Ask for help. If you want spiritual healing, ask your Higher Power to help you. Sounds simple enough, right? It is simple, but simple and easy are not always the same, as you will learn in the next step.
5. Ask like you mean it. You’re not asking your spouse to pass the salt here. You’re asking for a life-changing spiritual healing to take place. The trick here is asking humbly and sincerely. This is where the word “humble” becomes important. Becoming humble doesn’t mean we must tremble in fear or bow our heads in shame before a Higher Power. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. A Higher Power consists of nothing but divine love and never judges or punishes us. Our Higher Power is our best friend.  Asking humbly simply means that we must lower our guard, tear down the ego-driven walls we’ve built to protect us, and open ourselves to the hand that reaches out to us. It is a leap of faith. Think of divine love as a river that flows wherever it can flow. By its very nature, that is what love does. In order to receive the flow, we must open our heart to it, with no ego thoughts, no pride, or other obstacles to block the flow of energy. Set your fear aside and simply ask.
6. Patience, Grasshopper. Patience and persistence are the keys to this step. Like most things in life, practice makes perfect, and we don’t always make the connection with our Higher Power the first time around. We often must ask many times a day over a period of days, weeks, or even months before we experience an intense spiritual healing. But as long as we follow the basics – surrender, sincerity, and asking humbly – it’s not a question of whether it will happen, but when. The energy is always here, with us, waiting to flow to us. We simply need to meet it halfway, which is what the 6 Steps listed here are all about.

We can choose to hold onto painful memories of the past and remain sad, empty, and unhappy or we can choose to surrender them to a Higher Power and live a free, happy and contented life. Franklin Delano Roosevelt once stated that “there is nothing to fear but fear itself” and he was correct. When we hand our childhood issues and other trauma over to a Higher Power, it is actually our deepest fears that we are surrendering.

Are you ready for a spiritual experience of your own? Join our newsletter list on the right column of this page. You’ll get free info, tips and articles to help you re-connect with your own inner peace and happiness.

3 Steps To Healing Emotional Wounds – Part One

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
- Rumi

“All healing is first a healing of the heart.”
- Carl Townsend




We have all suffered emotional wounds caused by some form of trauma, be it physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. These wounds have caused many of us to shut down on some levels. Too many of us have built a wall of protection around our hearts to keep the bad guys out, but have inadvertently become prisoners of those same walls. Spiritual dis-ease is the result, which manifests itself through addiction, anxiety, depression, loneliness, and a long list of other emotional disorders.

What is spiritual dis-ease? Well, the disorders mentioned above are really just symptoms of spiritual dis-ease and not the source of the problem.The most accurate description of spiritual dis-ease is a blockage of love, both to us and from us. It is a separation between our soul (our essence) and a very real energy called universal love. Common sense suggests that a spiritual problem requires a spiritual solution. The good news is that we all have the ability to heal emotional wounds through spiritual healing.

Here are 3 simple solutions you can use to heal those nagging wounds of the past and move forward in a happy, positive direction.

1. Recognize Your Own Wounds. We are all exposed to some degree of emotional, physical or psychological trauma at some point of our lives. These experiences remain firmly planted in the back of our minds, no matter how hard we try to forget them. Many of us try to ignore the pain or even self-medicate to escape it, hoping that it will disappear one day, but that is simply not the case.
Past abuse and other trauma issues will always find a way to surface in our lives, often in the late teenage or early adult years. Depression, anxiety, unhealthy relationships, overeating, substance abuse and many other abnormal behaviors are simply symptoms of deeper issues and result from spiritual dis-ease, which describes the condition more accurately than the word disease, which suggests these issues are of a physical nature. When we experience spiritual dis-ease, we feel detached from others, the world around us, and even from ourselves. We feel empty, detached and alone inside.
Imagine our wounds as an old wooden chest we’ve stored in the attic of our mind. The chest is filled with painful memories we’ve been collecting since early childhood. We know we need to throw away the bad junk in the trunk, but the attic is a dark, scary place to visit alone and we don’t like to go there.
The good news is you don’t have to go into the attic at all. It’s enough to recognize that the wounds exist and that they can be completely healed.

2. Recognize Others’ Wounds. There are people that behave badly, but there are no bad babies. Emotional wounds are contagious and are passed from one person to another. For example, dysfunctional parents commonly carry wounds inflicted in them by their own dysfunctional parents. In other cases, it might be a total stranger that inflicts pain on unsuspecting victims or a child might become the target of neighborhood bullies. The people that hurt us are to be understood, rather than judged. It’s important to know that bullies and other predators aren’t born that way, They, too, have become emotionally wounded by others and simply have not yet experienced a spiritual healing. It would be fantastic, of course, if all the walking wounded would read these words and decide to overcome their own issues. But, that is their choice to make and they will have to deal with the consequences of their choices. You, however, can choose to break the chain, rather than become a part of it. Viewing those that have hurt you as victims, rather than “bad seeds”, will help you begin to heal your own wounds.

3. Commitment to healing. Nobody likes to see the bad guys beat the good guys. You have every right to feel angry and betrayed when someone you love and trust hurts you. You also have the ability to channel that anger into determination to break free of the past by refusing to be held prisoner by the pain others have caused you. No one has the power to ruin our happiness unless we give it to him or her. We were born to enjoy happy, peaceful, content lives, despite the challenges we all face along the way. Adopt a “refuse to lose” philosophy and remain focused on overcoming all difficulties that present themselves. This is called resilience and it’s one of the finest qualities we possess as humans.

In 3 Steps To Healing Emotional Wounds – Part Two, we’ll discuss how to connect with your inner self and ways to open your inner self to spiritual healing. It’s not nearly as difficult or scary as it might seem and fortune favors the brave, as some dead guy once said.

Are you interested in your own spiritual growth? Join our mailing list at  http://3stepstospiritualhealing.blogspot.com/2012/10/calling-all-angels.html and get free info, tips and articles to help you re-connect with inner peace and happiness.

Do NOT Kill Your Ego – Embrace It

Has anyone else noticed that ego appears to be a very dirty word lately? Log into Facebook and you won’t have to wait long before someone posts a photo that screams KILL THE EGO! Some people don’t realize that ego is not some horrendous, red-eyed, soulless monster. Ego is an indispensable part of who we are and, with no ego, we would not be able to get out of bed in the morning. It would be impossible to dress or feed ourselves or function in any positive way without ego to guide us. We would sit and stare into space, completely disconnected from any snippet of reality. I could not type this blog article with no ego and you would not be reading it right now without an ego of your own.

All too often, people raise the word ego as a sword against one another. If you dare to say I or me twice in the same paragraph, and it happens to be a sentence about a topic that the other person doesn’t agree with, that is the time you’re most likely to be accused of being some kind of selfish, mirror-loving egomaniac. It’s when our thoughts or views conflict with their own ego-driven thoughts that some people become quick to point the finger of blame in the other person’s face. Ego is not the problem. It is the wounded ego that is the culprit. A healthy, balanced ego is the solution.

But ego comes with all sorts of negative baggage like fear, right? And we all know fear is a very, very bad thing. Or is it? You and I were programmed with fear for a reason. Fear is the life-saving, self-preservation survival tool that kept your ancestors from being eaten by dinosaurs and prevents you from stepping in front of a bus today. Again, the goal is not to kill the ego, but to reduce it just enough to help us become balanced in body, mind and spirit.

How can we best restore harmony to our ego? Along with ego comes personality; and with personality comes a unique gift, such as music, art, writing or other communication skills and talents of the soul. Ego also allows us to feel empathy and compassion for others. When we love ourselves, which is a sign of a healthy ego, we naturally love others, as well. The problem is not ego. The problem is too much ego, the inflated ego - the wounded, bloated, damaged ego that grows so out of control that we can’t step outside of our own little world. It is the ego that has grown to such enormous proportions that it becomes impossible to see beyond the end of one’s nose. The trick is to let some of the air out of the ego, apply a spiritual ice pack to reduce the swelling, and share our own best gift-of-the-ego with others. Sharing our best with others is what gives life a sense of purpose, after all. Use your ego talents to help others.

Some of the finer attributes of ego include a healthy, well-balanced sense of self-esteem and confidence. Here are 9 confidence-building exercises anyone can use to create a healthy ego.

1)    Focus on solutions. A person with an unhealthy ego tends focus on their problems more often than not. When we find solutions, we build not only build confidence, but we also step outside of self and into the real world.

2)    Follow you intuition. That gut feeling that whispers in your ear is usually telling you something very positive. Many people believe their inner voice is a connection between their inner self and a higher consciousness from outside themselves. What better way to step outside of yourself and tap into your innermost self at the same time?

3)    Read. Knowledge is power and the best way to become an expert in any particular area is to learn all you can about a topic. You will naturally become more self confident while exploring a whole, new world.

4)    Stop comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone smarter, stronger, wiser or better looking than us. There will also always be people that are less fortunate than us. Judging ourselves according to the way we perceive others shows a lack of self-confidence. None of us are less than anyone else. Enjoy being you.

5)    Put the past behind you. We all know someone who has lost in love, feels betrayed by a former lover, and refuses to take a chance on love again. This person’s ego has been bruised. He or she suddenly sees all future lovers as up to no good and makes a conscious decision to remain stuck in the past. Leave the past behind and keep moving forward.

6)    Make eye contact with others. Many of us avoid eye contact with others, even if we aren’t always aware of it. Make a conscious effort to look everyone you meet straight in the eye and watch your confidence and self-esteem soar.

7)    Set goals. Get out a sheet of paper, grab a pen, and write down what you want from life, a realistic date to get what you want, and the steps you will take to get there. Then just do it, like a Nike commercial.

8)    List your strengths. Get out a second sheet of paper and list your best strengths and assets. You possess far more strengths than you probably realize. Can’t think of any? Consider hiring a life coach to help identify, encourage and empower you in ways you never imagined.

9)    Refuse to lose attitude. What did Winston Churchill, Jesus, and Galileo share in common? Each used his ego-given gifts and talents to leave a lasting impression on the world and made life better for others, despite harsh criticism and obstacles standing in their path. Don’t let someone else’s definition of ego as something bad or evil define you.

Want to heal a wounded ego and learn how to use yours to its best potential? Sign up for our mailing list and keep an eye out for an upcoming live, online class called 3 Steps To Spiritual Healing, as well as lots of free articles designed to help you live a happier, more fulfilling life.