Thursday, December 6, 2012

Do NOT Kill Your Ego – Embrace It


Has anyone else noticed that ego appears to be a very dirty word lately? Log into Facebook and you won’t have to wait long before someone posts a photo that screams KILL THE EGO! Some people don’t realize that ego is not some horrendous, red-eyed, soulless monster. Ego is an indispensable part of who we are and, with no ego, we would not be able to get out of bed in the morning. It would be impossible to dress or feed ourselves or function in any positive way without ego to guide us. We would sit and stare into space, completely disconnected from any snippet of reality. I could not type this blog article with no ego and you would not be reading it right now without an ego of your own.

All too often, people raise the word ego as a sword against one another. If you dare to say I or me twice in the same paragraph, and it happens to be a sentence about a topic that the other person doesn’t agree with, that is the time you’re most likely to be accused of being some kind of selfish, mirror-loving egomaniac. It’s when our thoughts or views conflict with their own ego-driven thoughts that some people become quick to point the finger of blame in the other person’s face. Ego is not the problem. It is the wounded ego that is the culprit. A healthy, balanced ego is the solution.

But ego comes with all sorts of negative baggage like fear, right? And we all know fear is a very, very bad thing. Or is it? You and I were programmed with fear for a reason. Fear is the life-saving, self-preservation survival tool that kept your ancestors from being eaten by dinosaurs and prevents you from stepping in front of a bus today. Again, the goal is not to kill the ego, but to reduce it just enough to help us become balanced in body, mind and spirit.

How can we best restore harmony to our ego? Along with ego comes personality; and with personality comes a unique gift, such as music, art, writing or other communication skills and talents of the soul. Ego also allows us to feel empathy and compassion for others. When we love ourselves, which is a sign of a healthy ego, we naturally love others, as well. The problem is not ego. The problem is too much ego, the inflated ego - the wounded, bloated, damaged ego that grows so out of control that we can’t step outside of our own little world. It is the ego that has grown to such enormous proportions that it becomes impossible to see beyond the end of one’s nose. The trick is to let some of the air out of the ego, apply a spiritual ice pack to reduce the swelling, and share our own best gift-of-the-ego with others. Sharing our best with others is what gives life a sense of purpose, after all. Use your ego talents to help others.

Some of the finer attributes of ego include a healthy, well-balanced sense of self-esteem and confidence. Here are 9 confidence-building exercises anyone can use to create a healthy ego.


1)    Focus on solutions. A person with an unhealthy ego tends focus on their problems more often than not. When we find solutions, we build not only build confidence, but we also step outside of self and into the real world.
2)    Follow you intuition. That gut feeling that whispers in your ear is usually telling you something very positive. Many people believe their inner voice is a connection between their inner self and a higher consciousness from outside themselves. What better way to step outside of yourself and tap into your innermost self at the same time?
3)    Read. Knowledge is power and the best way to become an expert in any particular area is to learn all you can about a topic. You will naturally become more self confident while exploring a whole, new world.
4)    Stop comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone smarter, stronger, wiser or better looking than us. There will also always be people that are less fortunate than us. Judging ourselves according to the way we perceive others shows a lack of self-confidence. None of us are less than anyone else. Enjoy being you.
5)    Put the past behind you. We all know someone who has lost in love, feels betrayed by a former lover, and refuses to take a chance on love again. This person’s ego has been bruised. He or she suddenly sees all future lovers as up to no good and makes a conscious decision to remain stuck in the past. Leave the past behind and keep moving forward.
6)    Make eye contact with others. Many of us avoid eye contact with others, even if we aren’t always aware of it. Make a conscious effort to look everyone you meet straight in the eye and watch your confidence and self-esteem soar.
7)    Set goals. Get out a sheet of paper, grab a pen, and write down what you want from life, a realistic date to get what you want, and the steps you will take to get there. Then just do it, like a Nike commercial.
8)    List your strengths. Get out a second sheet of paper and list your best strengths and assets. You possess far more strengths than you probably realize. Can’t think of any? Consider hiring a life coach to help identify, encourage and empower you in ways you never imagined.
9)    Refuse to lose attitude. What did Winston Churchill, Jesus, and Galileo share in common? Each used his ego-given gifts and talents to leave a lasting impression on the world and made life better for others, despite harsh criticism and obstacles standing in their path. Don’t let someone else’s definition of ego as something bad or evil define you.

Want to heal a wounded ego and learn how to use yours to its best potential? Sign up for our mailing list and keep an eye out for an upcoming live, online class called 3 Steps To Spiritual Healing, as well as lots of free articles designed to help you live a happier, more fulfilling life.